Rock Bottom: Episode 19 Tim Warner
Tim Warner is a comic who found that hitting rock bottom goes both ways: absolute sobriety can be just as depressing in the world of stand-up comedy. With producer Ben, Chris and Tim delve into the follies of alcohol usage, the mindset of moderation and druggie farmers markets.
11:07 am • 26 February 2014
2013: The ProBlogue
I’m finally starting to write a blog, Why not? You can still shape an iron while it’s luke warm. Plus, I’m doing this more for me. So I can have another place on the internet to jerk myself off that isn’t pornhub.com.
I spent New Years the same way I usually do - on a hallucinogen reflecting on my life & envisioning my future, at my favorite comedy venue in New York City – The Creek and The Cave. My Shaman, gave me a couple blotters for Christmas, the same guy who hooked me up and spotted me with my first DMT trip. I prefer mushrooms. I’m not a vegetarian, but I do like my psychedelics organic. I haven’t done acid in 10 years or so. But I figured, why not? My Shaman insured me the trip would be amazing, that’s all the endorsement I need. Hell of a sponsor.
While I was tripping on New Years, one of the thoughts that keep looping in my head, like a hip hop single without a beat, was that according to what we believed about what we interpreted that The Mayans wrote, we weren’t even supposed to be here in 2013! It seemed like this was a year of second chances.
After 3 years of not having a sip of alcohol or a comfortable social interaction, I started drinking again. I got to a point where I stopped giving a shit. I used to be that guy on the Titanic that would run around making sure there were enough life preservers and row boats. Panicking all the time. Stressed out. Everyone ungrateful for my actions. Now I’m on the Titanic holding on to the railing with one hand and a scotch on the rocks in another. Just trying to get the band to play Freebird before it all goes down. “FREEBIRD!!!” We all die in the end, why not have some fun? I came to the realization that I never had to quit drinking, I just had to quit being an asshole, but it’s just easier to blame the booze.
I called my dad for the first time in 2 years. Nothing’s changed. My dad’s still the same. Let’s hope Buffalo can win a Superbowl in the next 20 years.
My relationship with Jaqi came to an end. It was long overdue. We had the worse kind of relationship in New York City, a relationship that ended way before the lease did. It came at the perfect time. I was given the opportunity to shake off the residue of who I became to maintain that relationship and resurrected the person I am, a gladiator in clown shoes.
I quit smoking cigarettes (again) on September 11th I think this time I’m gonna stick to it. If not for my health at least for the tweet next year.
In March, I had my first Montreal audition. I was flat soda. It makes sense. I wanted it for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to prove everybody wrong instead of proving myself right.
Since I felt I had no other way to get stage time, in April, I began a monthly show called Modern Day Philosophers at The Creek and The Cave, in Long Island City. Every month, I have a place within the comedy scene where my brand of comedy has free rein. I co host the show with, one of my favorite performers, Leah Bonnema. We’ve worked with each other for years and we both still have some passion inside us. In our first year, MDP was selected for the 2013 New York Comedy Festival. You should come to MDP one of these months in 2014 or at least tell someone you know in the city that has free time and a need to escape.
In November I was afforded the opportunity to perform at New York Comedy Club. They have asked me back to perform. I used to seat people at this club while I was homeless. They paid me in stage time. Now I perform there almost every Monday. I got another dojo. And I know that’s not air I’m breathing.
When I was homeless I got passed at The Comic Strip by Starla. It was beyond amazing. After my audition, I got the chance to talk with her about comedy for hours. At that point, she was hosting the audition shows for about 17 years. She passed the comics from the 90’s and the ought’s. Starla had an idea of good comedy. She asked me to come back on Mondays. I did. My first Monday I was gonna go on at 12:30am. The audience was comprised of 4 German terrorists that spoke broken english. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. Rick Shapiro walked in and bumped me. No big deal everyones doing five minutes. Rick did twenty. He killed. I followed. I didn’t, for all five minutes. I left and never went back.
On November 26th I auditioned at The Comic Strip, in front of the original owner, Richie Tienken. I arrived late. The comic that hosted doesn’t think to highly of what I do. I was fucked. So I drank. I was last. I was drunk. I brought my beer with me, as if that was my one man platoon going into battle along side me. I gave him my set of that night. I did jokes that I had that I felt that that crowd would have dug. Afterwards Richie talks with each auditioner. I was last. I was really drunk. “Tim you were really great. But you can’t bring a beer with you on stage next time.” Huh? Yeah? What? Ok. No beer. Stage. Great. I passed. A second chance. Very few people get a second chance in life. I don’t plan to fuck this up.
My New Years resolution is to not die in 2014. I’d like to get a wikipedia page before I go.
Please Do Drugs Responsibly. Otherwise you give them a bad rap.
1:09 am • 2 January 2014 • 1 note